Celebrity Sex Dolls

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Celebrity Sex Dolls

I've been hunting this week to find sex dolls that look like celebrities. I've compiled a few of my favourites here for your viewing pleasure.

Curly hair, small boobs and a vacant look? It's early Jordan!


And this one's a dead ringer for scary-mary Mariah Carey:


Argh! He's got no willy! I assume this is a doll for 'givers'. Though why any gay man would want a Charles Bronson love doll is beyond me. Different strokes, different folks..


And this little lady is a double for the mingy ginger one out of Girls Aloud, Nicola Something.


Anyone that isn't thoroughly bothered by this needs help. Those breasts must have been modeled on coneheads! And to make it worse, it's got Roseanne's head!


Final one; and it's one for the ladies. I know you fantasised about being taken up Tracy Island by Virgil. Well, now you can! The review said his penis was 'flaccid and useless', though. Maybe you could dress him up and take him to a party instead.


My conclusions are as follows:

1. If you really are sad enough to buy a sex doll, at least pay the money for a good one. With proper synthetic skin and hair and stuff. Otherwise you might as well just shag a dinghy.

2. If you are rich enough to heed the above, why the hell haven't you got a date? I suggest you spend the money making yourself look shaggable (by stapling the money to your clothes).

3. If you are poor and ugly, and buy a cheapy sex doll, may I thoroughly reccomend lube. From what I've seen, the cheap ones are basically just arm bands, and they had killer seams round them.

4.Anyone who shags a doll is a freak.